Too much Zoe

I have spent a lot of time recently is a state of quasi-siege: my front door is barricaded off from Zoe because if anything comes through the letterbox she first kills and then shreds it. If I pick it up she jumps up and nips me on the thigh - she doesn't draw blood but I currently have half a dozen bruises. So far everything has been unsuccessful: I tried putting on a letter cage, but the only one I could get at the time fastened only at the top and the front opened down so a good bash from her made everything disgorge. I have escalated the barries until the area is barred off with a staircase guard, an old fireguard and a spare Ladderax ladder, but she still gets through.

On Thursday I decided that enough was enough. I went on line; located exactly what I wanted (four screw points that could be placed where I wanted them, opening top), and ordered it, paying extra for next day delivery. Yesterday it arrived. This morning - unfortunately after the post came - I installed it. I shall wait and see.

The truoble is that she is small, lithe and agile, more like a cat than any self-respecting dog should be. Yesterday evening I heard the high-pitched bark of a Zoe in distress, and rushed out the kitchen. It turned out to translate as "MUMMY! I'm STUCK!" She had jumped onto my Henry vacuum cleaner, from that onto the vegetable rack in order to reach the shelves behind where I keep chews and other doggy treats, and couldn't get down. After I had rescued her for the second time I moved Henry.

More barks. There was Zoe on top of Henry again. "MUMMY! I can't reach the vegetable rack!"