Memories from my mother: her Uncle Jack

[sollers]

Amongst the old family photographs that I've been sorting out, I found one of my mother's Uncle Jack. He's middle aged, with receding hair and a nice if rather solemn face. He looks like the old-fashioned stereotype of a bank clerk; I don't know whether or not he was originally, but that isn't how he ended up.

My mother's family was Anglican rather than Methodist, so they weren't quite as horrified as they might have been when he married a Catholic, but they were horrified enough. The main sticking points were that he would have to promise that all children would be brought up as Catholic, and if it were a difficult birth her life would be sacrificed to ensure that the baby survived, if only just long enough to be baptized.

This all turned out to be ironically academic, as it turned out that she couldnn't have children. Her priest told him that they should therefore never have sex again, as if procreation was impossible it would be sinful. Since he wasn't a Catholic the priest didn't think he could be trusted if he stayed in the same house so he should move out - as far away as possible. Uncle Jack did as he was told, and went really far away, to the West coast of Canada. And that's where he stayed for the rest of his life, sending money back to his wife, but living well on what was left: he worked as cook in lumber camps for half the year, and spent the other half in the best hotels in Vancouver.

People I have told this to have been shocked and told me that no Catholic priest would say such a thing. Maybe not in their lifetimes, or their parents', but around the end of the 19th/beginning of the 20th centuries, it happened.

Which brings me to my daughter's civil partnership. I found it offensive that on the wall of the registrar's office, apparently a fixture that had been there for years, was a notice stating that a marriage could only take place between a man and a woman. I was happy with the ceremony itself (though I would dearly like to know who handed the meerkat hand puppet to a certain person), but the rigorous divide saddened me.

Because if the function of marriage is procreation, there are whole categories of people who should never be able to marry, including any woman past the menopause. Yet every now and then there are wedding pictures in the local press of a pair of pensioners. I'm having problems phrasing this, but in my view anyone who opposes same sex marriage falls into the same category as that priest.

Comments

[tree_and_leaf]

Very true!

[sollers]

My favourite story from the past is the medieval German bishop who sent round to say, Would you mind letting your parish priest know within a reasonable time after you get married? Say within six months? We like to know about these things.

The other favourite, from Gregory of Tours, is the bishop's wife supervising the construction of a church she was having built. She was down there every day, dressed so simply that a passer-by thought she was a beggar and gave her some money. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, or put a damper on charitable inclinations, so she didn't tell him the truth.

[tree_and_leaf]

There were many things that made me want to yell at ++ Sentamu's latest statement on gay marriage, but the bit that made me most cross was the claim that it would be changing the nature of marriage. If he'd read his bloody Augustine he might still be opposed to gay marriage, but he wouldn't make quite such idiotic claims, because Augustine is very well aware that marriage is at least partly a social construct which has changed rather a lot over time, as has the definition of what is virtuous behaviour in marriage. And it's not like Augustine is a bleeding heart liberal who thinks that anything goes sexually!

Of course, it also made me want to ask him if polygamy was now OK. It's in the Bible, after all...

[sollers]

[Unknown site tag] would say, polygamy is in the Old Testament, but so what? According to St Paul, it's interesting background reading. According to the Gospels, it's been supplanted.

And the same goes for any references to homosexuality. If any Christian wants to really be firm about banning anything, it should be widows remarrying.

[sollers]

Can't edit, and obviously screwed something up - the person referred to is "my daughter the theologian".